Cool Save Bro!

In a situation like this, it's good to know you have a good wingman, quick witted and willing to cover your back and make the save. Like this dude. High fives are definitely in order.

Pedo Bear cares more about your kids than you and me combined! And to be honest, I kind of padded the me column a little just out of courtesy.

Books, remember them, they were made from trees and had pages that contained words, you read them, turned the pages and a story would unfold. Weird, right? They really don't write them like they used to anymore.

No need for explainations, kitty. We all know that Ernie is a power-bottom and if you got the chance to get with a celebrity, wouldn't you take it?

Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. Behold the fabled Bred Helmet. "I am wearing a helmet made of bread. Your argument is invalid." Gimli the dwarf meets Subway.

Such strong looks. I can't decide which is more dashing and studly, the magic marker beard with blusher or the blackface and lip gloss. Both of these guys are true stylistic visionaries. Bravo to them both.

The Joker acts all badass and that, but if you really want to know how he got those red scars at the side of his mouth, the truth is far from badass. Although that might've been what he got next.

If I had a penny for every time some jackass took my photograph and managed to ruin the picture by focusing on what was going on behind me, I'd have a LOT of pennies.

Don't bother trying to do it on Facebook. Why do you have to go and get all existential on us Facebook??

If you're thinking of getting an iPhone 5 you need to ask yourself a few questions first: Is it a unicorn that can shoot rainbows out its ass? No? Then you really don't need one. Unless there's an app for that.

You ever seen Vin Diesel in The Fast & The Furious film saga, well, thats me, thats exactly how i drive, i live to drive fast, nothing can catch me i'm.... WAIT .... Is that a cop car over there. Damn, better slow down!