GTA taught me well, like hookers are free if you kill them & if you ever get shot in the head doctors should be able to clean that shit up in no time at all. Also, to avoid the police, just lock your bedroom door

There's something strange... in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? Probably not as funny as Bill Murray, but definitely serves a more realistic purpose.

So, you start up your Omegle and straight away you start talking to some pussy. Man, you are win, how do you manage it? The internet is just the coolest, it never lets you down. Oh.

So, the trailer for Mel's latest movie was out this week and we've already seen a mash-up with his hate-filled rants. And now, we get this. So now we have a recovering alcoholic Mel viciously screaming at a Bieber-beaver puppet.

Whale stealing UFOs are a huge problem in the world today. Greenpeace has been battling the problem by trying to ram the UFOs with their boats, but it's just no match for the lasers!

We laugh because it's funny, we laugh because it's true. You can only imagine the number of greasy-haired pedervs that have to confront each other's sweat-beaded face when trying to entrap young kids. Maybe like 5 or so.

If only life were this simple. Someone really needs to figure out the whole portals thing as soon as possible. We could easily solve most of life's problems!

And look what you wake up to. Ugh. Double ugh. No sharing a breakfast with this not-so-fine specimen of the female species, but such is the manipulative powers of make-up.

You GOT Transparency! In politics it's a fight to the death - It kinda looks like Julien Assange gave Obama a lot more transparency than he bargained for - PWND!

What the hell has someone done to these girls' faces? It looks like their lips have been injected with the Earth's supply of collagen and then slapped about with a swarm of electric eels.

Those goddamn body scanners, huh? Exposing all our flabby, transfat-ridden bodies. Must be a helluva job. Well here's a way to wind them up while sticking up for your rights: 4th amendment underwear. Take that Mr Security Man!

Finally. We can all let out a collective sigh of relief, for it is here. The doll that can give every douchebag his Snooki. Make sure to slather your hair with grease like a New Jersey muscle brain monkey before approaching.

It's time to act like a man and be responsible, and also sample some of the fringe benefits of practicing some 'safe sex' at the same time - YEEHAH!

There was a time, pre-internet, a place where a Sony Walkman meant you were a techno-king amongst men, when cosplay was the just fat men dressed up as Zelda. That still goes on, but now you get this too.

I'm not sure where this is, but they definitely need to budget a little extra money to the police department for next year!

This is a tricky one, because if you answer yes then you risk losing the very life you treasure so much. But if you say no, then you lose the very ninja you treasure so much. Hmmm...

Listen very carefully to the old Chinese Sage's pearls of total wisdom! "Man who run behind bus get exhausted, man who run in front of bus get tired."

Kids today, they have it all, but are still not satisfied! Even 2pac would be jealous of that gangsta Cookie Monster hat! (note: iphones, the phone for gangstas)

Before he became a flaming eye of hate, hanging out at Mount Doom plotting the demise of ugly-footed hairy midgets, he went to high school just like the rest of us. And this is a rare photo of him from those seminal years.

This is either very creative and motivating advertising or it's cruel and unusual punishment to the locals. I haven't decided which yet.