PEW! PEW! PEW!

I'm not sure where this is, but they definitely need to budget a little extra money to the police department for next year!

Lindsay Lohan. AKA 'Lilo' - There's nothing wrong with this hawt celeb, you might say. Bikini? Check. Ample boobage? Check? Likes to surf? Check. Looks like she likes to party HARD? Che- oh hang on, what's that?!

Guess what's on special tonight!? Don't get your hopes up though, this is probably the most depressing bar in the northern hemisphere. Nothing is on special. You are not special, in fact, we hate you. Get out, you're barred.

The trouble with being 'man's best friend' is that you also become 'man's young daughter's best friend' and have to do stuff that was definitely NOT on the pet manifest. The shame.

If you want to see a lack of self-respect, look no further. And if you want to see the full horror in the living flesh and blood, walking around like a fat sack of low self-esteem then just head to your nearest Walmart.

Ewww! What's going on here? It's like a tranny Barbie doll with a huge strap-on. That's going to send the kids a confusing and, frankly, disturbing message. What next, Ken dolls with a hole in his crotch? Great Christ.

This one's a relatively easy one to make come true. She probably wouldn't even need to contact the make-a-wish foundation or anything, just mention it in passing to a guy a BAM. Your dream ma'am?

The joys of riding a motorcycle, the open road, no safety requirements and a powerful beast between your legs and all the power you could ever need. Just don't go fast!

Literally......WTF!?!

A drink pouring device. Of course it is. Two in a pack, nestled up lovingly against one another purely by accident. Whatever you say, pal.

What is seen and read can never be unheard - Another song you will now not be able to not sing in your head ever again without remembering this picture!