iPhone Etching

If I was ever to get my iPhone engraved this is exactly what I'd want written on it. Somebody buy this man a cookie, he's a freaking comedy genius!

Hey, if I was a bird I'd totally hitch a ride. Maybe not on a big predatory looking bastard like this, I don't wanna end up as his dinner. Still, pretty dope tho.

Cooking soup might sound pretty easy, but in reality it's a pain in the ass. This tin tells the truth about the process, from it's appetite suppressing beginnings to it's unimpressive finale. Anyone for soup?

If you've ever actually done this then you know. It's not really that hard to speak cat. You don't get much out of it apart from "feed me", "Stroke me" or "change my kitty litter or i will poop in your shoes". Gotta love cats.

Ok, so it's one of those challenges that you see every day and go "pfft, no way", except this works! Believe it or not, this even works for "Bacon". I am speechless.

Most of us know how to drink with aggressive abandon, it comes naturally, evolution took care of that. But most of us don't know how to act when drunk, so we'd all do well to read this and heed the advice.

Hanging out with the cool kids. It's something that everyone wishes they could do but statistically very few will ever achieve. You'll probably end up hanging out with a bunch of flid-handed weirdos.

A Russian duck face is a lot like a regular duckface, but with some key differences. The fiream being the most obvious one...

Giraffic, jurassic. Get it? Oh never mind. Made me laugh pretty hard when I saw it. TBH it'd still be a scary film. You ever seen giraffes fighting?

There are some things that just beg to be imbibed. An ice cold bottle of coke dripping with condensation on a hot day, for example. This is not one of those things. If you were really drunk you might try it for a bet though.

You had me at 'Jack'...Actually you had me right up to the bit where you mentioned a turban and i had to squint my eyes very hard to believe that this was all true....Still!?