If Your Dog Could Text...

Let's say your beloved mutt managed to grow some thumbs and was able to use a cellphone—it would probably be a very bad thing because you'd end up getting texts like this ALL THE FRIKKIN TIME.

As the old saying goes, "you don't look at the mantel when you're poking the fire", if you did you might drop your stroke & run screaming into the night. I guess you could avoid the horror with a brown paper bag, or better yet, a Halloween mask :(

It's cookbooks for experimental eaters. If you're bored to death of meat & two veg why not try cooking with actual testicles? I've heard they're best served with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Twitter is full of ferociously fit females. Seriously, it really is....Honest! If you're lucky you might find yourself following one who likes to post hastily taken self shot pics of her in her undies, like this collection of socially active sweeties.

If I could replicate myself like this, I surely would be just standing around clicking silly photos, I'd be getting a lot more work done! Who am I kidding, it would just be a lot more people on the couch!

Yep, it's another glorious Monday morning & another time for a get-back-to-work gallery of whatever-the-hell weirdness the internet had to offer over the past week. All the best images are packaged up here for your perusal.

It's clothing with inappropiate slogans that there should be laws against their owners wearing. If your opinions can sometimes be offensive to certain people then the best thing to do is get a T-shirt with them printed on the front.

Girls & guns, what better combo could there possibly be?. Not that it matters, there's something about a woman with a weapon, it instantly gives her attitude despite the fact she doesn't know how to take the safety off.

Hailing from the North Shore of Kauai, cute Alana Blanchard is one of the top 5 most popular women surfers on Earth - She's down to earth, beautiful and charges infamous Banzai Pipeline. She's a pin-up who can surf.

Maybe it's time to take this as a wake up call, or maybe it's just time to bury your head in more gaming and pretend it's all just fine. Just fine.

Prepare to witness some seriously hardcore work safety code violations that will get you reaching for a hardhat and staring in wonder at the genius that went into thinking that this was a safe way to perform a task. Epic.