Never Trust Your Friends

Especially if they tell you that keeping an elephant with irritable bowel syndrome in your basement is a swell idea. If they do I think you're legally entitled to kick them square in the balls.

In he fantasy world of video gaming life is slightly different than the cold hard light of reality - How comes the dates I go on where there's blood on the bumper don't end with a compliment?

Now, tell me.. was it REALLY necessary for there to be THAT many??

Ok, so you have the 'duckface' pretty much perfected so now it's time for a tougher challenge. It's time to (wo)man up and attempt a fivehead - Your parents/aunt and uncle/brother and sister will be so proud.

Well, it's not really an advert because cigarette companies aren't allowed to advertise anymore, but if they were this would make an awesome advert. 100 years old and lighting her ciggie from the candles in her cake. What a trooper.

Isn't it weird the effect that political leaders have over young females? At least thereare no cigars involved yet, or maybe that's reserved for Presidents?

I'm sure Ripley believed what Newt told her but i hate to say it kid but you are WRONG! Sometimes they come during the day and take a seat so near to you that they could steal your hotdog!

Have you ever wondered about the techniques they use on the show to catch the villian would actually work in real life? I mean, they only spend about 5 minutes per episode actually doing any police work!

Might look a bit weird to western eyes but this is a typical scene in Japan. Spreading icing on to you forehead and posing with a mouthful of raw octopus is just how they say 'Hello' over there. It's all in the guidebook...

Ryu really has a way with the ladies. He gives them a savage beating, cusses them off & then tries to get their digits in under 10 seconds! You really can't blame him for trying. You'd do the same.

For a company that doesn't actually "Invent" anything, just glues together other people's tech, Apple sure are getting huffy about anything that looks similar to their products...