Tonight's Special

Guess what's on special tonight!? Don't get your hopes up though, this is probably the most depressing bar in the northern hemisphere. Nothing is on special. You are not special, in fact, we hate you. Get out, you're barred.

So maybe you think that drugs are not really gonna effect you and change your life, you know, you could be right. Lindsay Lohan knows a thing or two about this and even after all that abuse she still looks amazing. Right?

You've got to love it when a meme means girls sitting half nakie in front of their computer screen. If only all memes were like this instead of just badly drawn MS paint pictures with crazy expressions.

If you ever need help, don't be afraid to ask the internet. Sure you might not get exactly what you asked for but you'll sure as hell get a few unicorns & some narwhals, which are pretty much the solution to most things.

Being prejudiced to other earthlings is one thing, not to be tolerated but it's expected from our ignorant selves. But intolerance of aliens is just not on, arsenic or otherwise.

If you're not on Facebook then what'll happen to you is like what happens to Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future in that photo of him and his brother and sister, you'll eventually just fade away out of existence.

We all know sharks are badass, with their dead eyes and ferocious jaws and all those teeth. But their reputation as man-eating killers is vastly overrated. Sure they may kill the odd person, but that's nothing compared to death by fast food.

You know from the very first moment you see this cute little fella' that you 'have' to take him home and love him.... Then you read the small-print - you never go full retard!

If you are engaged in office warfare and you're looking for something that will end the war once and for all, here it is. I call it the cubicle nuke. Enjoy.

Lets face it, who needs more than these 3 basic essentials to lead a good life? And if that isn't convincing enough it has the endorsement of none other that Mr. Iron Man himself, Robert Downey Jnr. Your argument is invalid!

A true Pokemon master is ALWAYS playing, always in the zone and refuses to relax his grip on the tounament whatever the temptation. Oh yeah, because of this he's still probably a virgin too!