The Perfect Girlfriend

A REAL perfect girlfriend will never know she holds that title, she will sit with you patiently while you play WOW & not make a fuss when you go out drinking with your buddies. Yep, i must be dreaming again :(

Sure, if you live in a fictional movie land of faries and happy endings then Valentines day was just the best thing ever! However, if you live in the real world it's slightly different :(

Ah the mushroom. Always a drag. Unless of course it's a purple ringer, then it's all fun and games!

Sometimes when you're all alone in the sub-Arctic and you know, you've stupidly thrown away your shirt, then it's time to put on some seal skin. Seal skin is so on trend right now.

Ok, so when is the one time you can show pictures of your naked child to another adult and point out and laugh about his penis? Think about it if it was a dad with his daughter, something is rotten in the state of Denmark here!?

Just like there is no need to hide the fact that you are gay, who needs to be modest about playing some of the biggest roles in film history?

We spend an awful lot of our time watching it, or illegally downloading stuff that was on it, anyway. But I bet you're not aware of these little facts. Memorise them and then recount them down the bar and show your friends what a loser you really are.

I don't know which is more disturbing, the fact that someone would try to mail him or the fact that it happens so frequently the post office has a stamp for it.

She's the adult entertainer who's been banged more times than a Mongolian battle drum. Who's eaten more meat than Fatty Arbuckle. But she's tried to reach over to the cultured side and act in art movies. So, you mad?

Now how fast could that kid have possibly been going.. -LOL