Taxi For Mr. Crow

Hey, if I was a bird I'd totally hitch a ride. Maybe not on a big predatory looking bastard like this, I don't wanna end up as his dinner. Still, pretty dope tho.

If you're going to use one of those overly-posed, duck-faced pouting shots that are the norm for social networking sites, at least make sure your wobbly gut isn't on show to make me want to slice my eyeballs in two.

It's a nation of motor vehicles and cruising in comfort, but when you can't find your elbow anymore you know it's time for some radical measures, or it's game over!

It don't matter how big you are, size is totally unimportant in these circumstances, it's all about what you do with it...oh, and of course what color it's painted!

You had me at 'Jack'...Actually you had me right up to the bit where you mentioned a turban and i had to squint my eyes very hard to believe that this was all true....Still!?

Just a quick word of warning; if you EVER meet a bear smoking a cigarette, run. Run like you're never run before. Get Forest Gump up in this mofo. You life depends on it.

This is one of those competitions that even a loser has a chance of winning, it takes a 'special' person to come up with the goods for this. But don't be fooled, even if you win this competition, you're still one of life's real losers.

Am I the only one who's first reaction to someone drowning is to lol?

In answer to the above question, it's pretty f*cking deep. As deep as the sky is tall, but one thing this infographic misses out is those glowing alien things that were in the Abyss. They're down there somewhere surely.

If you've ever actually done this then you know. It's not really that hard to speak cat. You don't get much out of it apart from "feed me", "Stroke me" or "change my kitty litter or i will poop in your shoes". Gotta love cats.

Something tells me that if anyone, ever, on the entire planet turns up at a party wearing this little gem around their neck then no red-blooded male who is there will be getting laid that night. Like a BOSS!