First Time

You've seen the film, read the book & got the tee & now it's finally happening, something you've been waiting your whole life for and NOW you are actually doing it, just, JUST don't blow it!

Oh the sheer joy of a new life coming into this world, it's overwhelming isn't it. A little miracle, I bet you can't wait to craddle it in your arms. It's just so...Oh hang I think I just got a text from my BFF...

The rules of the dreamscape can be confusing. What happens in dreams is supposed to stay in dreams unless you die then you go into a coma or something. But then look what's happened to Ariadne.

When you head for a bite to eat, you don't expect to be confronted with questions regarding the length of your manhood. But that's what the world's come to these days. So what is it: 6 or 9 inches?

If you thought that the opposite sex were very easy to figure out then you couldn't have been more wrong - They are so complex that even mathematics has a hard time equating them :(

Most of us know how to drink with aggressive abandon, it comes naturally, evolution took care of that. But most of us don't know how to act when drunk, so we'd all do well to read this and heed the advice.

Oooh yeah, i really wanna get my hands on that, just look at the perfect round, succlent...wait, what? Sometimes something is just too good to be true. At least you'll be getting one of your daily 5 essentials.

Yeah, you didn't really handle it, did you, Tom? I saw Jurassic Park, and I wouldn't say any of those dinosaurs were well handled. Sort it out, dude.

Wait, you mean that this milk I'm drinking hasn't been freshly squeezed from a feline teat? That's disgusting! I demand to see your store's returns policy!

Ladies, so you are meeting up with your boyfriend later on and you txt him a message to let him know what to expect that evening...BUT...You txt your dad by mistake. Never assume you can pull the wool over his eyes. FAIL!

If social networking was a thing back in the 1940s, this sort of thing would have totally happened. I wouldn't have known as I'd be to busy face-stalking Marilyn Monroe...