TAKEAWAY DOODLES

People are requesting doodles on their takeaway boxes, with surprising results. I'd be scared that the surly recipient of my order would decide to smear his or her own bodily excretions on my food rather than getting arty.

As impressive as these are it seems such a waste of the time spent creating them as they are only there for a few days at the most, before they totally dry out and fall to pieces. It must be sad to see such awesome sculptures fade so quickly.

Last month, Top Gear magazine put together a truly unprecedented selection of performance cars on the world's best driving road: Italy's Stelvio Pass. Altogether, a combined value of £3,718,090 & 6,071bhp. (www.TopGear.com)

Yep, it's that time of the week again. Time to sit down, gather your thoughts and let us squeeze a great big dollop of internet into your brain space. It's full of truly random pictures, each hand picked for their lolz quotient. Enjoy.

Some of us get nervous at the thought of an ear piercing, some of us find the idea of a needle piercing our skin & depositing ink repulsive, but some of us need a LOT more!

You definitely meet a different class of female at conventions that requires them to turn up in cosplay outfits. It breaks the ice about conversation starters - you already know they are into the same thing you are. Genius.

Lets face it, when you are a celeb you can pretty much get away with anything, even murder (OJ anyone?), it's only when you look at the paparazzi photos you really see what they have been getting up to!

I'd put my 'chen' on her 'bund'. I honestly don't even know what that was supposed to mean. I think it was just meant to sound vaguely sexual. Yep. I want to do vaguely sexual things to this woman.

I'm guessing that if you're a busy hard-working journalist with deadlines to meet then sometimes you just don't notice the perverted prose you are inadvertently writing, or then again, maybe you do!?

How do you make some of the most famous entertainers look like your average Oklahoman? Well, actually it's not as hard as you think it would be, just a change of clothes and a new hairdo and your there. Kind of.

A random bunch of über-hot non-fishfaces that we can all agree are ball-achingly SUPER-HOT. Hotter than salsa dancing on the moon in an acrylic jumpsuit. Hotter than sitting on a barbecue dressed as Jabba the Hut. Etc.