Ass Candy!

Seems a bit steep of a price to me. I'll sell you my ass candy for only 99 cents a pound!

If you thought that the opposite sex were very easy to figure out then you couldn't have been more wrong - They are so complex that even mathematics has a hard time equating them :(

If you want to see a lack of self-respect, look no further. And if you want to see the full horror in the living flesh and blood, walking around like a fat sack of low self-esteem then just head to your nearest Walmart.

Imagine using the rest room and see this staring at you from across the room, watching your every move. You'd have the cleanest bathroom that anyone could possibly hope for. fear him.

There's always that ONE guy that's just got to make a stupid face - LOL

Whoever the kid was who received this text, fair credit to him. While most kids would be too embarrassed to even respond, he makes sure to get a lol out of it while winding his mom up. Awesome work.

Sometimes when you're all alone in the sub-Arctic and you know, you've stupidly thrown away your shirt, then it's time to put on some seal skin. Seal skin is so on trend right now.

There's quite a bit of controversy going on right now whether or not to legalize gay marriage. If they don't like it, why do these straight people keep having gay babies?!

No need for explainations, kitty. We all know that Ernie is a power-bottom and if you got the chance to get with a celebrity, wouldn't you take it?

If you're using a smart car as a weiner extension then it sucks to be you. not only do you drive a seriously lame automobile but you're love truncheon must be roughly the size of a cocktail sausage.

OUCH! Not much more to say - LOL