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The Onion Looks Back at 'The Sound of Music'
In honor of The Sound of Music's 50th anniversary and to celebrate its legacy, The Onion's head film critic, Peter K. Rosenthal (comedian Ron E. Rains), provides a touching tribute to the beloved film.
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Have you heard about that new movie coming out with Natalie Portman, where she’s a ballet dancer who loses her mind? Yeah, me neither. But there is one and it’s got a Portman/Mila Kunis cud-munching scene.
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This kid tries to join the on-field celebration before getting yanked off by his dad. Now his dad is probably going to ground him: 'You can't leave your wheelchair for two weeks!'
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This kid gets towed on his Huffy Slider behind his friend's car and slams into a small tree. The tree is ok, the big wheel is a little worse for wear, and the kid is... well... he's got bigger problems than a broken trike.
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This old guy smashes a jewel thief into his countertop then throws him over the top of it, chasing the thieves from his store. These were just jewels. You should see what he does when people try to steal his Centrum Silver.
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Puppets are always a little strange, but in this case I envy this puppet. The woman’s hot, you could do worse than having her hand stuffed up your backside. Is there something kinky going on?
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Skate 3 was a pretty awesome game but not half as amazing as these physics-defying clips make it look. If shenanigans of this magnitude were guaranteed in a typical session, it would make all other video games entirely redundant.
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If there wasn't a video to prove it you would never believe that half of these were even possible, let alone that someone had done them. Some of the most outrageously difficult and showy trickshots you'll ever see.
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Maybe they finally got around to seeing the Kobe jumping over a car video and didn't realize that it was faked. This guy has a long and happy life as a non-parent ahead of him!
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You, too, can help prevent party fouls by performing this simple test on your friends. If you think about it you are actually doing them a favour by not letting them operate heavy machinery or drive a car. RIGHT!
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Just when you least expect it, the world's most pikey bakery swoops in to add lolz to an otherwise tedious interview. There never has and never will be an interview that wouldn't be improved with a plastic bag.
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