Mordor

Ones does not simply walk into Mordor. First you need to go get yourself a nice big sun-hat and a couple of thousand gallons of the strongest sunblock money can buy. Otherwise you'll end up looking like jerky.

The canon of European art is lauded, and rightly so. It's got some fine fleshy paintings that can stir a man's heart. But you can't help thinking it could somehow be improved. And it can, by adding cats.

It's great to include your children in your healthy outdoor pursuits, being at one with the wilderness and traversing large rock formations. However, it's best not to play some 'throw & catch' with junior in these conditions - WTF!?!

Some picnics are just destined to be better than others. If your picnic includes supplies like these instead of a silly old wicker basket, then you are in for a good time!

Dogs, don't you just love them, they are with you through thick & thin, always there with their unconditional love and ready to lisk your face with tose wet tongues of theirs, could there be anything nicer?

Sasha advises to floss regularly to get rid of all those hard to reach oral infestations, she's obviuosly a professional who takes her work very seriously :)

If you're being bullied at school and want a surefire way to make it stop immediately, Steven Fry has some pretty damn good advice. The man is a freaking genius.

As if the world wasn't terrifying enough, imagine if a giant robot controlled by the mind of a dog was a weapon the world had to contend with. Maybe it could've been tamed with a Tyrannosaurus's leg bone or something.

It's a devastating travesty that we all suffer with every single evening. Won't someone do something?! It's so, so sad....*WAIT! Who uses a desktop computer anymore anyway?

Everyone had one in their school. The most socially awkward, weird, gross kid you ever met. He probably had a weird name that was easy to make fun of, braces and an unquenchable thirst for acceptance. Also, an erection.

Not got a girlfriend? Tired of using a watermelon or your hand? Then help is at, er, hand with this simple technique to while away those cripplingly lonely nights. Easy to make with ordinary household objects!