Am I Doing This Right?

So I heard about this tea bagging thing. What the hell is the big deal, i just don't get it?? I finally have a sleeping victim, i'm ready for action. This is what I'm supposed to do, right?

There's not a goddamn thing on this green earth that isn't improved at least ten fold with the addition of a pair of googly eyes. It's so simple but so freaking hilarious! That's it, I'm buying some right now.

I'm going to have to start carrying googly eyes wherever I go. They can make even the most mundane things totally hilarious. God bless whoever invented these things. You, sir are a true hero of humanity.

When someone says to a woman, "Put your face on", it isn't just a figure of speech. So be careful the next time you meet up with a cute girl, lurking beneath the pretty face could be Steve Buscemi.

So you feeling hungry then? We can sort that for you with a tasty Chineese egg - In Dongyang City, locals eat the seasonal "virgin egg" boiled in the urine of virgin boys - OM NOM UGGH!

The Joker acts all badass and that, but if you really want to know how he got those red scars at the side of his mouth, the truth is far from badass. Although that might've been what he got next.

In he fantasy world of video gaming life is slightly different than the cold hard light of reality - How comes the dates I go on where there's blood on the bumper don't end with a compliment?

Everyone had one in their school. The most socially awkward, weird, gross kid you ever met. He probably had a weird name that was easy to make fun of, braces and an unquenchable thirst for acceptance. Also, an erection.

The ability to fall asleep at any time sounds cool, but if you're not in control of it, it goes from cool to crappy pretty damn fast. Especially when you're on a swing.

You know when you just have to send that text message - It looks like this was one of those times.

Normally we have endless "How to get a girlfriend' posts, but now the tables have been turned. Ladies, if you want a man try doing this, guys just adore a portable table to rest their drinks on while driving :)