When Bed Is Best

It may just be schadenfreude but there really is nothing in the world more cozy and comforting that laying in bed dozing while someone else is getting ready for work.

Yeah, you didn't really handle it, did you, Tom? I saw Jurassic Park, and I wouldn't say any of those dinosaurs were well handled. Sort it out, dude.

Being an atheist's pretty cool, you can laugh at religious people and do what the hell you like without any superstitious fear of divine retribution. But then when you die, it's a bit of a bummer.

Sasha advises to floss regularly to get rid of all those hard to reach oral infestations, she's obviuosly a professional who takes her work very seriously :)

Some people just shouldn't be allowed on Facebook. Some people shouldn't even be allowed out of the basement for that matter. Actually, now i'm on a roll....SOME people shouldn't be let out of the womb!

You probably thought that "got ya nose" was funny. He didn't think so. He didn't think so at all and he wants that sh#t back, pronto. Be afraid.

The horror, the horror of it all. It's a txt message that every sibling has nightmares about, being thrown out of the family home by your mother.... But wait!... This takes a turn for the surreal!

Take note ladies, do not let your husbands make your kids costumes. Yeah, they might be good at putting things together, but their lack of common sense will get you!

It's not enough to walk around with a boring plastic bag any more, to stand out from the crowd you need to be busting a bag that makes heads turn. Or maybe it even features a turning head itself. This are plastic bags 2.0.

Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the two, on the one hand you have skinny, lifeless beings with dead eyes walking the earth listlessly, on the other you have zombies. ithankyou!

There's not a goddamn thing on this green earth that isn't improved at least ten fold with the addition of a pair of googly eyes. It's so simple but so freaking hilarious! That's it, I'm buying some right now.