Tonight's Special

Guess what's on special tonight!? Don't get your hopes up though, this is probably the most depressing bar in the northern hemisphere. Nothing is on special. You are not special, in fact, we hate you. Get out, you're barred.

But pussy pirates? That's just bloody disgusting! See, this is why ninjas are so much cooler than pirates!

If the first thing that you think of when you see this sign is aging bond badass Sean Connery wringing his hands and biding his time while gentling cooing his pronunciation of 'soon' to himself, you're not the only one...

Whoever the kid was who received this text, fair credit to him. While most kids would be too embarrassed to even respond, he makes sure to get a lol out of it while winding his mom up. Awesome work.

A drink pouring device. Of course it is. Two in a pack, nestled up lovingly against one another purely by accident. Whatever you say, pal.

When Mr. F. Alone gets bored, he likes to play with his friends. Unfortunately for him his friends are all dolls and nobody wants to come and hang out with him, poolside. It's got to be bad when even a pool won't entice people...

This picture features something we all find dear to our hearts, once you see it resting on the bed, looking all alluring, you'll realise how much your truly do love such things. It brings back to many memories of being young and single.

Well it now official. The new Twilight movie has been proven capable of boring men to death. Apparently this phenomenon only effect men, so you old cougars out there are free to go drool over your little heart-throb teens!

I'm not sure exactly what the heck this thing is, but I'd surely poop a brick if I ever caught one! Then, after i had recovered and cleaned myself up I'd dump him in the public pool!

Apparently, he wasn't properly shown how to use the potty..

There's an emergency in the building and you have to exit fast, only problem is that to get yourself free means smashing something to bits and the little guy doesn't look too happy about it!?