Suspicious Quotation Marks!

So what does this mean? What kind of inside code could "wash hands" be? I heard it could be something drug related, but I can't be sure.

Surf's up dooood! Go grab your submarine and let's tackle some gnarly waves, you bodacious seaman. Like, using surfboards is just so 1977, it's all about the nuclear submarines these days.

If you thought the little dead twins from The Shining were petrifying, you ain't seen nothing yet. What if they looked like Spongebob Squarepants? *shudder*

Something tells me this is how Clyde started out when he was young, back in the days before Right Turn made him popular.

It took a while but we are now seeing the benefits of having a black president - One of the things I've looked forward to the most when we got a brother in office - LEGALIZE WEED! You go Barry!

People ask why haven't primates evolved into humans if we evolved from them. Well, here's the proof that they have. This silver back looks remarkably human, he's even sitting down snacking on junk food.

I've been working for FAP industries since I was a teenager but I've never drawn a single paycheck. Maybe I should give them a ring and get my dues?

Whoever the kid was who received this text, fair credit to him. While most kids would be too embarrassed to even respond, he makes sure to get a lol out of it while winding his mom up. Awesome work.

Looks like 2006 was a good year if you liked a certain type of activity. What the heck happened back there to make this graph spike like it did? Perhaps it's best if we didn't know.

It either feels like the developers at Facebook had some monthly quota to fill for UI changes, or one of the lead programmers got made redundant half-way thru his latest project and decided to go out with a BANG!

I have no idea what this is, who made it, how or why, all I know is I want one. I'd also like a Twinkie that looks like a shark while you're at it and maybe a pint of beer that looks like a space rocket.