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Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
You never know when a plague will ravage the land and the dead suddenly become the 'undead', rise up out of the ground and go of in search of your brain in order to crave their eternal hunger. Always good to be prepared!
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I suppose there's at least one advantage to spending your entire life skulking around in the sewers, associating with huge mutated rodents...
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It turns out that when faced with 20 or more extremely desirable items causeing 20 instances of the emotional DO WANT response, a dog's brain will go into full meltdown and they will pull a hilarious expression. Like this!
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If you're being bullied at school and want a surefire way to make it stop immediately, Steven Fry has some pretty damn good advice. The man is a freaking genius.
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Hey you! Yeah you, working away there. Stop what you're doing and follow what this shoe shop sign's telling you to do. And if anyone questions your perverted activity, just show them the sign and tell them to join in. Fap.
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The trouble with being 'man's best friend' is that you also become 'man's young daughter's best friend' and have to do stuff that was definitely NOT on the pet manifest. The shame.
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Some kids will go to any lengths to get their parent's attention, sometimes it goes waay too far - "Will you give me attention now? What about now, am I interesting yet?"
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Well, what do you see? If you see a nut and bolt and some wood, then thank God. If you see anything else, then you might want to check the pulse of the women you've been sleeping with?
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Ok, so maybe for most of us the sight of a pretty girl striking a duck-face post is enough to make us reach for the nearest receptacle to throw up in, but amazingly, not all of us!
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When it comes to proposing to your girlfriend, there are ways you should do it and ways you shouldn't do it. Falling in the former camp is this, it's full of so much win it hurts.
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Back then it had a silent 'y' and was actually pronounced yogging. And you could only go if you took two hot chicks in skimpy clothes with you. That was just how it was back then, go ask Ron Burgundy if you don't believe it.
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