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Scumbag Christmas Lights
Because what could elevate your Christmas cheer more than painstakingly replacing every last light bulb on the christmas tree, one by one? Nothing. That's what.
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What makes Papa Smurf happy? Smurfettes of course! Just present him with an innocent little Smurf chick and you'll see a wicked grin develop on his face before you can say "Run girl....RUN!!!"
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Ain't this just the truth. Spy on your neighbour with a pair of binoculars and you're a perv, do it online on Facebook and, hey, why not? No one's gonna know, right?
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When a son goes off to university, it can be a traumatic time for the father. They like to appear strong, but inside, they hurt. Their little boy is becoming a man and that can be painful. Or dad could have a degenerative disease.
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Wait, you mean that this milk I'm drinking hasn't been freshly squeezed from a feline teat? That's disgusting! I demand to see your store's returns policy!
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She's got NES panties on, the Linux penguin, Tux, on her tee and she's suggestively sucking on a Wii-mote.
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Yeah, you didn't really handle it, did you, Tom? I saw Jurassic Park, and I wouldn't say any of those dinosaurs were well handled. Sort it out, dude.
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You can try this for yourself, all you need is a dog, a shaver and some googly eyes. TBH though, a shved dog looks weird enough without the googly eyes...
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If you think about it pulling the early shift at a hotel does have some serious advantages, you get to tidy up the carnage from the night before. Now to just drag them to the janitors closet...
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Have you ever heard the saying, 'pets often resemble their owners'?
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And there you all were thinking that they just grew from seed and needed plenty of water and sunshine to make them grow, how wrong you all were! I don't think I'll ever look at watermelon the same way again.
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Comments: 4