Never Trust Your Friends

Especially if they tell you that keeping an elephant with irritable bowel syndrome in your basement is a swell idea. If they do I think you're legally entitled to kick them square in the balls.

Well it now official. The new Twilight movie has been proven capable of boring men to death. Apparently this phenomenon only effect men, so you old cougars out there are free to go drool over your little heart-throb teens!

If you're a sufferer then you'll feel this guy's pain. It's a tough decision and whatever you do, you still won't be happy about it...

Finally. We can all let out a collective sigh of relief, for it is here. The doll that can give every douchebag his Snooki. Make sure to slather your hair with grease like a New Jersey muscle brain monkey before approaching.

Listen to the lady, she speaks perfect sense. This is the sort of pic you need hanging up on the inside of your locker, or attached above your bathroom mirror. Just to remind yourself.

This guy will never be taken seriously if he keeps letting people touch inside his mouth..

It's a smart idea to always have some food with you in case you find yourself miles from anywhere and feel a little peckish. Make sure you wrap it up to keep it fresh, or better still, make sure it's still alive. Nom.

When a shark has gotten this close, warning you buddy is kinda pointless, you should just try and get a verbal agreement that you can have all his stuff.

There's nothing like venting spleen on some of Steve Jobs' finest achievements in the shiny gadget world. Take a gun, a hammer, and some blunt instruments and start pummelling the crap out of them. Then breath. Isn't that better?

In the kingdom of the geek the girlfriend'd one is king. Yeah you can have a +999 Fire Sword of Dragon Testes but when your buddy's rocking up with a hot babe, then no form of +nerd power can beat it.

I'd like to think that this is exactly what the fish is saying. In reality he's just mouthing soundlessly as he suffocates clasped firmly in the jaws of winged death. That's not as funny though...