More Sports Sexual Innuendo!

He should have stuck to chasing the Vagenas instead, then he might have had a better chance!

When it comes to badly shooping yourself onto the head of a stranger so it looks like you're totally dating a totally hot babe, make sure she's not a Z list celebrity. Make sure she's A list. Aim high.

Because it's an iceberg lettuce. Get it? Iceberg. Titanic? Well it made me laugh...

Especially if they tell you that keeping an elephant with irritable bowel syndrome in your basement is a swell idea. If they do I think you're legally entitled to kick them square in the balls.

You can try this for yourself, all you need is a dog, a shaver and some googly eyes. TBH though, a shved dog looks weird enough without the googly eyes...

In the UK they have come up with a simple and radical solution to the bullying problem in schools, it's sage-like advice from douchebags who have obviously never been to sensitivity training.

Keanu Reeves in Bill and Ted was a bodacious music-loving party dude. And now the future he waited so long for is here, what slamming tunes are there for him to party hard too? Oh crap, Rebecca Black. What happened?

Whatever your career job there is no way you will attain such on-the-job satisfaction as this dude. As soon as this dude retires I'm getting an application sent through right away!

This is reason numero uno why you shouldn't leave your beloved pooch locked up in the car. Forget the general cruelty of leaving them trapped in a hot box, and think of that new upholstery you've just put in.

Religion. LOL. It's no wonder that someone who would believe in an invisible sky wizard would ask a question as mind numbingly retarded as this. 'Full retard' doesn't even begin to describe this.

NO, you are not dreaming, or maybe you are, depending on what your current relationship status is at the moment? BUT. If i was to wake up to this every morning i'd be set for life - WOW!