Guys' XBox Fantasy

This is the girl only Halo guys dream of..

You can't really make fun of China anymore when your own country is doing the exact same thing. Still at least we can mock their human rights record and hope they don't mention Abu Ghraib...

Have you ever wondered about the techniques they use on the show to catch the villian would actually work in real life? I mean, they only spend about 5 minutes per episode actually doing any police work!

So you feeling hungry then? We can sort that for you with a tasty Chineese egg - In Dongyang City, locals eat the seasonal "virgin egg" boiled in the urine of virgin boys - OM NOM UGGH!

This little cartoon will remind us all that when cussing someone's mother, it's best to check they're not suffering from any of the ailments you mock them with. And also, make sure they can't see the words you speak either.

Pedo Bear cares more about your kids than you and me combined! And to be honest, I kind of padded the me column a little just out of courtesy.

You ever seen Vin Diesel in The Fast & The Furious film saga, well, thats me, thats exactly how i drive, i live to drive fast, nothing can catch me i'm.... WAIT .... Is that a cop car over there. Damn, better slow down!

The longer you stare at him, the happier he looks. There's no way I could be as happy as this little guy without taking an obscene and frankly dangerous quantity of illegal narcotics.

Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. Behold the fabled Bred Helmet. "I am wearing a helmet made of bread. Your argument is invalid." Gimli the dwarf meets Subway.

I bet it's Chris Hansen under there. Comes in sizes too old, small and extra extra small - It's the perfect Xmas present :)

Be. Afraid. If you thought Hitchcock's movie The Birds was scay (you wimp), then imagine if they'd had arms, big, bulky, muscular arms that they could slap you across the forehead with. Terrifying stuff.