Charts Don't Lie!

Pedo Bear cares more about your kids than you and me combined! And to be honest, I kind of padded the me column a little just out of courtesy.

Well it now official. The new Twilight movie has been proven capable of boring men to death. Apparently this phenomenon only effect men, so you old cougars out there are free to go drool over your little heart-throb teens!

Take a look at this analogy from 'I Am Legend' and it will slowly damn on you that females are far more dangerous than a large city filled with zombie-like creatures who want to kill you. Plus they steal all your favourite food.

Once you're under the gaze of those light blue eyes there's no escape. Soon she'll be moving to America and maxing out your credit card.

Well, what do you see? If you see a nut and bolt and some wood, then thank God. If you see anything else, then you might want to check the pulse of the women you've been sleeping with?

Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. Behold the fabled Bred Helmet. "I am wearing a helmet made of bread. Your argument is invalid." Gimli the dwarf meets Subway.

Whether or not he's spanking it, he sure looks like he is. He could just be rearranging, or maybe he just really, really, REALLY likes swimming?

If you ever thought that the food at the Golden Arches tasted like sh#t then you are probably right. Looks like they are using prime ingredients. One look at this sign and you will never eat there again!

Everyone's eaten there, but most of us aren't proud of it. This guy is. He is REALLY proud of it. In fact, He's lovin' it!

So, the Hogwarts franchise is no more. What now for the boy wizard and his motley crew? Well, why don't they form a band, or even a cover band. Here's what their album covers could look like.

If you're using a smart car as a weiner extension then it sucks to be you. not only do you drive a seriously lame automobile but you're love truncheon must be roughly the size of a cocktail sausage.