At The Gym.

The local gym, you know the place, it's where you go to get fit and tone up and stay healthy...WRONG! If there were more girls like these at my gym, I wouldn't find it quite so hard to make it there!

Just remember, you will never give less of a f#ck than when you are a child. Kids are like little rock-stars who don't need drugs and alcohol when they trash the place and defecate on themselves, it's just who they are - Be afraid.

You've passed out due to one to many root beers and your friends have taken the liberty of abusing your comatose body. Most of this abuse you wouldn't want to be awake for but fear not, there will lots of photos.

You'd think with names like these, they shouldn't have even thought about going into politics. But despite being totally ludicrous, the public will probably vote for them just for a laugh. It worked for Boris Johnson.

Yes! Go grandpa, just because he's a tenth of your age does not mean you don't put that mofo to the floor, sport's sport, there's no fair play, just winners and losers, and who do you want to be? That's right, winners! ROFL.

Now here's a great idea that should really should be taken to every subway station on the planet. Why aren't all subways packed with 8-bit style artwork? It makes for some awesome nostalgia moments.

Last month, Top Gear magazine put together a truly unprecedented selection of performance cars on the world's best driving road: Italy's Stelvio Pass. Altogether, a combined value of £3,718,090 & 6,071bhp. (www.TopGear.com)

People have been trying to explain the mystery of perspective to each other for centuries, but they just don't get it. "How can something be smaller if it is further away?" - It's best not tried on a blonde for fear of the universe exploding!

The difference between Scene & Emo? We're not too sure & don't really care - As long as they're hawt we can overlook their dubious taste in music & enormous persecution complex !

Not all human beings of the XX chromosome have the urge to do the duckface when they be self-shooting in the bathroom/bedroom mirror. Some reckon that a smile and some tight clothing will just bloody well suffice.

The wife, her indoors, the trouble & strife, the ball & chain, your significant other, your better half, your other half, the little lady, the boss, the missus. Anyway I'm off for some beers, make sure dinner's ready when I get back.